I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t take the time to reflect on what my life was like before I was a wife and mother. I like to reminisce on that chapter because I truly feel like dating was such a significant time in my relationship. If only y’all knew the way God designed that phase to allow us to overcome things with GRACE (emphasis on GRACE), that seemed impossible! 

For example, our relationship started long distance, so that was a true test that strengthened our communication skills and allowed us to build a really good friendship. Thank God for that test because the majority of our marriage has been long-distance or dual living in multiple cities or states. I think we have lived in the same city for 13 months consistently since we got married in 2018. Can you imagine? We’ve been on the GO!

Anyway, I just dropped by today to tell you that whatever season you are currently in, thank God for that season. I truly believe that if you let the cookies (or chips) fall where they are supposed to, you’ll avoid unnecessary growing pains. Lord knows life is hard enough without any unnecessary challenges or difficulties to add to the mix. But I also want you to know that anything you have to force will not fit in this season or any other season. Simply put: don’t rush, don’t be hasty. 

It’s okay to set boundaries and expectations but try your hardest to enjoy where you are. I know some people date quicker than you can blink and end up married, but that is their journey, not yours. Regardless of what it looks like from the outside looking in, no one knows what they had to do to get to where they are. Maybe the “blessings” you see are God’s will for their life or their own doing. We don’t know! Whatever it is, let it be and do you!  

Don’t get me wrong, I love marriage, but this is serious business and a huge commitment you never want to undo. So while weddings are trending and your closest cousins and girlfriends are planning their own, I want you to know that it’s okay to be single and waiting. It’s okay to hit every spot in the city with Bae, dating until y’all tired. If marriage is in God’s perfect will for you, your day will come. 

Of course, God gives us all free will, so you can rush getting married if you’d like to. But I want to encourage you that it is okay if:

• It is not “your turn.” 
• You’re fully committed to being the friend of the bride. 
• You secretly want him to propose real bad. 
• You have a deadline on when your girlfriend title expires if you are not upgraded to fiancée. (I get it, TRUST ME, I do).

Here are some things you can do while dating and waiting (desiring marriage): 

1. Save – weddings are so expensive, and beyond that, you want to have your coins in order for your first home, furniture, savings, getaways, gifts, or whatever else it is you plan to do with your man in the future.
2. Plan for fun – I love Pinterest! I had my wedding laid out on there. From the ring to the sparkler exit, honey, it was done. I don’t see a problem with it. Just make sure you’re not putting awkward pressure on your guy. Also, if someone close to you is getting married, make sure you’re respectful and still attentive to your bride. I was on Zillow once I was done with the wedding, picking out homes, and Stephan was helping. He knew the vibes.
3. Devote your time to the Lord. He will guide you and direct you.

Disclaimer: I am not telling you to date for ten years; I’m just trying to tell you not to be in a rush. We can still enjoy dating and date with the intent to marry. 

There is nothing wrong with talking about weddings and marriage with bae. I was very vocal about my expectations. Chile, I was even overly prepared for my engagement shoot because it was supposed to be a couples shoot, but I had already told Stephan that I was bringing some props for our engagement party because I wasn’t planning on taking pictures again. (Remember my first suggestion on what you can do while dating and waiting? Save!) 

So I asked a few guys what they’d want their girl to get them for Valentine’s Day and here it is…all them, not me!

1. Couple’s massage

2. Anything I need but don’t want to spend money on (steamer, shaving kit, leather goods, watch)

3. My favorite meal cooked with a bottle/glass of wine

4. Sex

5. In door sky diving

6. Jet skiing

7. Clothes

8. Electronics

9. Video game

10. Bow ties

11. Special date night

12. Rent

13. Car note

14. Light bill

Now I’ve never been down enough to pay the rent but I can build you a lottery ticket bouquet or whatever. Lol. Anyway sis, if you’re really hands on and creative like me…see my old blog post. I listed a few non-traditional ideas that are super cute, easy and fun. Oh and my cousin is going all out this year! She’s making her man some “Boo Bucks!” Chile, it’s about to be lit in Tampa. @_ronilynette says her “Boo Bucks” are similar to Monopoly money. Sis is prepared and sis is not playing. I’m here for it though.

Happy Lover’s Week!

XoXo,

Mrs. Blount or Just Call Me Lex

It’s okay to pray fervently for a godly husband but in the same breath—it’s important that you’re positioning yourself to be a godly wife. We CAN expect for our man to lead us and be in line with the spirit but we also need to be spiritually grounded. We need to be able to assume responsibility in Christ and stand in the gap (in the spiritual realm).

1. Pray for a godly man who deeply loves Jesus. *make sure you deeply love Jesus too. Pray that you both continue to fall in love with Jesus together.

2. Pray that your husband assembles himself around godly friends. *make sure you’re inviting God fearing women into your circle and embracing the Holy Spirit with them.

3. Pray for a godly man, full of integrity with a life full of obedience. *the fear of God is real, do you fear God? Are you working tirelessly to please Him and do His will?

4. Pray for a man who will honor God—even down to his finances. *are you consistently tithing and pouring into God’s people?

5. Pray that your husband’s steps be ordered by THE LORD! Pray that he willingly submits to God. *Are you ready to submit to GOD AND your HUBBY? Are you ready for God to take complete control over your life? Are you ready to give your life to Him and have him use you as He see’s fit?

WHEW, that submission part is TOO REAL! But anyway, let’s remember to continue challenging ourselves to be godly women while we are praying for a godly husband. It’s never too late to step up to the plate in The Kingdom! There’s always a place for God’s children to get right. If you’re already in a relationship and you’re praying for The Holy Spirit to bless your union… HE CAN & HE WILL. If you’re single, continue or start SERIOUSLY building yourself up in CHRIST JESUS. That’s the best quality to have and the key that every good man needs to start an amazing family.

I hope this blessed your life.

Take home message: don’t be a nickel out here looking for a dime. Lyfe Jennings said it best!

XoXo,

Lex

Hey GIRL hey 😉

Doesn’t it feel good to be alive? Aren’t we blessed to STILL be here, chasing our dreams and making plans? 🙌🏾 I don’t know about y’all but I AM GRATEFUL! I wanted to share a simple prayer with you all from my book, “Celibacy After Sex.” This is for the single, engaged and married folk! Write it down, switch the prayer up and make it true to you! If it’s God’s will for your life, you’ll be a wife and the best preparation is having a strong relationship with God!

“God, I lift my future husband to You and I pray for his strength, obedience and wisdom. I pray that he continues to seek You and strive to please You and love You with all of his heart, soul, mind and strength (Mark 12:30, 1 Samuel 16:7).

Keep him covered, oh God, physically and mentally. When times get tough, remind him that You are in control. I thank you for Your grace and unwavering favor over our lives. I trust that you are with us, now and forever. In your son Jesus’ name . . . Amen.”

As we tip into the new year, let’s also remember to pray for all the men in our life—not just your husband/future husband. We are going to start declaring and praying that good things be in store for sons, little cousins, fathers and colleagues. We don’t have to scream, shout and/or speak in tongues. We can simply stand in the gap for them by going to God and ask Him to continue blessing their lives. 

We want God to gift them with the spirit of discernment. We want them to be men of truth, men of their word. We are praying for strong leaders, not followers. We are declaring that they are great fathers and business owners with multiple streams of income! ETC.

IF YOU ARE CATCHING THE VIBE, PLEASE GRAB YOUR PHONE… download a journal app or use your notes section to type a list of men you’ll pray for. Set an alarm on your phone and be committed to cover them in prayer!

God Bless,

Mrs. Blount

or you can Just Call Me Lex ♥️

I’m sorry but I didn’t need a man that I had to build up. I had enough of teaching people how to act around my mamma. Who wanted to keep coaching folk on how to simply say “yes ma’am and no ma’am?” It was time out for that! When was someone going to help me? When was someone going to care enough to groom me to meet their Queen Mother? I mean don’t get me wrong, I met a few mothers during my dating days but I needed the seriousness behind being introduced to a family. Ya know?

For instance, before meeting my husband’s parents. We had so many serious conversations about life. I knew once he so eloquently introduced me to his family (insider for those of you who heard this crazy story) that he’d be ready to take the next step within our relationship. I knew he wasn’t playing with me.

The funniest part about him “preparing” me to meet his mom is when he kept correcting my speech. As if I wasn’t going to shut the ebonics down and use proper English when I met Mrs.Blount. Lol.

Anyway, my point is. It’s okay to have high standards. It’s okay to decide that you’re not raising anyone’s son. It’s okay to build but NOT if that means you have to be broken. Sis, it’s about to be 2020. We are not getting any younger, nor are we getting any dumber. We aren’t tolerating cheating from a boyfriend that we want to one day be a faithful husband. We aren’t expecting financial freedom and dating someone who isn’t interested in learning how to break bad habits and manage money. We aren’t expecting to enjoy baecations, bags or any other luxuries if we aren’t setting the tone within our relationships. Let’s get it together and let’s keep it together.

What are you going to hashtag for your proBAEte…. #meandsomebodyson or #meandsomebodybaby ?

XoXo,

Mrs. Blount

Or

Just Call Me Lex

I remember when I purchased my first luxury bag. WHEW! It wasn’t my first Louis Vuitton but it was the first bag that I purchased with my own money. I couldn’t wait to get that neverfull and swing it over my shoulder, even though I already had a bag that I never used. 

The crazy thing is, by the time I saved enough money for it—I didn’t even want the neverfull LV anymore. However, after holding on to my money and wanting it for so long, I felt that I owed it to myself! I HAD TO GET THE BAG. It was time to spend the money that I sacrificially saved. Ya know? SO I GOT THE BAG but because my taste changed, it should’ve stayed where it was. 

This isn’t some super deep testimony but a little life lesson.

Sometimes we are striving to achieve goals that we lost love for a long time ago. Perhaps something distasteful occurred throughout the process or you were exposed to greater? You don’t have to keep pressing on because you’ve set a goal. You can change your mind. YOU CAN RE-ROUTE! YOU CAN GRAB ANOTHER BAG!

“But I’ve been dating him for over a year!?” You’ll never know what God has on the other side if you ignore your intuition and stay. Step out on faith. Walk away from that relationship, even if he was once the apple of your eye. Your husband will be the love of your life and he may be on the other side of your obedience.

God will give us a change of heart, He will shift our vision AND THAT IS OKAY.”Well what will people say?” GIRL PLUH-EEZE!  Whoever puts their mouth on whom HE has anointed BETTER be careful. (That was for those of you on the outside looking in. Judging people and throwing shade because all of your moves were obviously perfect and purposeful.) So don’t worry about what they’ll say IF you walk away from that career, the man, or the latest pair of shoes. Shoot, there may be a reason why The Holy Spirit told you to leave the Jimmy Choos. Sis, what if there’s a business deal coming your way at the beginning of 2020 and you’ll need cash money to relocate? *i just put that in the atmosphere for somebody! 

Notes: 

1. It’s okay to walk away after setting a goal.

2. It’s okay to reroute.

3. It is OH-KAY—they’ll talk about you BUT GOD will always be about YOU. 

I’m praying that as 2019 comes to a close, God reveals who is meant to be in my life and who is praying against my success. I’m asking God to show me the heart of man. I need Him to show me who is on my team and who is waiting for the next best gossip to hit the streets about my life. I need Him to show me who shares my downfalls like hot tea and tastes my success like bitter lemonade! 

Xoxo, 

Mrs. Blount 

Or 

You Can Just Call Me Lex 

Hey Queens, it’s November which means it’s about time to start our holiday wish list(s). It never gets old huh? In addition to the latest makeup products, electronics and designer handbags—you may be hoping that BAE pops the question. ANNDD if God has given you peace about waiting, that doesn’t mean your loved ones are on the same page. LOL your family may be dropping hints and asking WHEN “it” is going to happen, as if you have control over when the man of your dreams is going to ask YOU to be HIS wife! I remember those days. People were more pressed than I was for ME to get engaged. It was tewww muchhh!

BUT regardless if you are impatiently or patiently waiting, I’d like to share that I dated my husband for about three years prior to engagement and I was excited to be his fiancé but I thoroughly enjoyed our relationship before that chapter. We were not in a rush! How awful would it have been if I spent the majority of our dating experience focusing on marriage and not enjoying the precious early stages? Those were the days when we fell in love! 🥰

If you’re the girl waiting on the ring, I’m here to tell you that there is no need to rush FOREVER. Some of my favorite couples had lengthy dating journeys. In the midst of your experience waiting, try to connect with a woman who’s enjoying the ride. Ask how she manages being excited and eager, while also strengthening her qualities as an aspiring wife. There is so much beauty in being patient and prayerful so don’t let people tell you that:

“Courting shouldn’t last long.” OR that you aren’t getting any younger OR my FAVV “Your biological time clock is ticking!”

Don’t get caught up in trying to give your parents grandchildren or any of that. They have lived their lives and had their babies! Enjoy this part of your story. Your time is coming! Don’t waste the best years of your life chasing marriage and possibly settling, marrying at the wrong time or worse…marrying the wrong person for the wrong reasons. Don’t get so busy chasing marriage that you forget who you are. Being hasty in your pursuit may cause you to lose your morals and values or important parts of your identity. If you’re going through constant trials and tribulations while “working” to get the ring, consider leaving engagement off of your list this holiday season. Seek couple’s counseling at church, foster relationships outside of romance and practice quality self care.

IF IT’S YOUR TIME, IT’S YOUR TIME BUT QUEENS, DON’T FORCE WHAT DOESN’T FIT! It’s not worth it. Ask God to allow you to take heed to signs, be patient and enjoy the process. IF YOU AND YOUR KING ARE MEANT TO BE, trust the process! Marriage is forever, enjoy the beautiful phases of dating and falling in love. You don’t get that time back!

HERE ARE SOME QUESTIONS YOU CAN ASK YOURSELF IN THE MEANTIME?

1. How are my relationships (God, family, friends, professional network) outside of the one with my boyfriend?

2. What makes me a good friend?

3. Did I accomplish the majority of my goals this year?

4. What’s the best part about dating/loving __________ ?

5. 10 things that are important to me are….

My girlfriend called me last week and said “Lex, I can’t do this anymore.” I was so confused. We hadn’t talked in a while and I thought it was because we were both busy with life. However, I was wrong. She was in a toxic relationship and embarking upon engagement. She says that she didn’t realize it was toxic until she left. “He wasn’t hitting me but I was abusing myself because I was going to settle. That made him insecure and we were pushing happiness because everything felt normal but I had this gut feeling. I thought it was nervousness but it was indeed, fear.”

The last time we spoke, she asked me to be her Matron of Honor. I don’t know much about her guy but they appeared to be happy and honestly, I was just minding my business so I didn’t pick up on any abnormalities. After our long talk, I learned that she was hurting but she was happy. She was in love but also staying due to fear. She wasn’t trusting God or her feelings because ultimately, she was afraid. My heart broke for her. Can you imagine dating for over three years and planning for an engagement and deciding to call things off? Can you believe that God showed her a sign a year ago and she never forgot it? During a short conversation with her guy, he said something and God gave her a vision. In that moment, she knew that her boyfriend was a great guy but not her guy.

Here’s a message she sent via text after we spoke:

“Lex, I’m big. I could not stay. He showed me the ring and it was beautiful but I felt it in my gut. I love him with my entire heart and soul and I know he is a great man but he is not my man. It sucks, right? Three years. I knew I would get my happy ending. I know it’s coming one day and this is one of the hardest things I’ve done. Thank you for everything little big sista and tell Stephan thanks for sharing you man.”

At the end of our call she asked me to share her story. Because her testimony is unique, I thought it was worth sharing. BUT DO NOT WORRY, SIS WILL BE ON TV ONE DAY. This woman is literally in love, BUT she walked away. If you’re a believer please keep her in your prayers. Please think about your deal breakers and like her, focus on BOSS GIRL MOVES while single. She’s a real go getter. What he brought to the table was extra. I believe that she knew she could

hold her own and still live a luxurious lifestyle. She didn’t put herself in a position where she’d ever have to bargain. Knowing her self worth and purpose allowed her to TRUST GOD AND WALK AWAY. Stay tuned for my next blog post!

Xoxo,

Mrs. Blount

OR

JUST CALL ME LEX.

Are you having a HOT Heart Girl Summer? Boo’d up but still THAT CHICK? Well before I go on a one week social media cleanse, I wanted to drop a blog for you ladies that are holding it down with your man and still representing for the #HOTGIRLS. Let’s talk about some fun things you can do with bae outside of classic dinner dates and Baecations!

If you’re trying to come up with a way to spoil him for his birthday, celebrate a raise or simply switch up the vibe… I got you!

In February, we celebrated Stephan’s birthday and since it’s about a week after Valentine’s Day, I had to come up with a fresh and fun idea! So we kicked it off with Shrimp Tacos, Beef Nachos and some sweets at the house. Perfect for Netflix and Chill, right? 

Later on, Stephan and I got dressed and I sent him a text which included the following graphic:

BOOM. A Scavenger Hunt! Look how those roles reversed lol. Instead of him taking me to the mall and swiping his card, I swiped mine (gift card)! We set a timer and I followed him around as he tried to figure everything out. 

Ladies, I LOVE THIS ONE because it can be as lavish or budget friendly as you want it to be. I always alternate between creative and costly gifts. Last year, Stephan received luxury items for his birthday and Christmas. This year I decided to put my creativity hat on and switch things up. I made sure to include items that I knew he needed. I figured this would’ve been more enjoyable than throwing it in a bag and watching him open it up. Haha. Here’s a few pictures from the experience. Oh… and I used the SparkPost App to design the graphic! WE HAD SO MUCH FUN! DM me if you need some help or have any questions! 

XoXo,

Mrs. Blount or Just Call Me Lex

Today’s blog was supposed to be this long drawn out message about strengthening yourself while waiting on your husband but instead, we are going to chat about making the first move.

When I hear or see the words “first move” I instantly think about flirting. So I must ask… why is it that we want the guy to make the first move? Who created that rule?

I seriously can’t deal. I’m a loyal member of the “I said I love you first” ministry. I don’t have time to move in fear or uncertainty. We can’t wait for opportunities to fall in our lap and I couldn’t wait for love to happen when Stephan had my stomach full of butterflies. Before I knew it, I told the man I loved him and now look where keeping it a hunnit got me.

But seriously, if we are still waiting on folk to hand us anything in 2019, we need a full reality check. We are at the top of the second quarter and if we have yet to realize that it’s “snatch your bag” season… then we have a problem. I don’t want to hear that you’re waiting on God, especially if He is waiting on you. Remember that someone’s purpose may be attached to your obedience. So while you’re patiently waiting on God to reveal things in one area of your life—you can actively work and walk into another one of your callings. Stepping out on faith is the move that will grant you a new lease on life and an abundance of blessing that you didn’t even ask for. I’m not going to get super deep. I just need you to know that there is purpose and power on the other side of your first move.

• There is a life partner waiting on you to compliment his tie.
• There is a wedding dress waiting on you, once you decide to text first.
• There is a brand new home waiting on you, once you finally decide to apply for that first home owners program.
• There is a job waiting on you, once you decide to update your resume and apply.
• There is an international business deal waiting on you, once you finally decide to book the flight.

Making the first move on the unthinkable can change your life forever. It may be the last time you struggle or the last time you hurt. Having the faith of a mustard seed will bless your life like never before. I’ve seen it, I’ve done it and because I believed—I’ve experienced miracles.

Don’t fold. Be Bold.

Toota-loo,
Mrs. Blount or Just Call Me Lex